Young Campbell

I am on the same train ride that we took but the difference now is that, I too, have lost my father.

I thought I understood your pain. How you drove for hours, how you argue with the police just to take the short cut, how you were able to get a small boat just to cross the river near the hospital, how your father left you without saying goodbye. But, no.

Pain is subjective. It is one of the most complicated feelings in human emotions. Words are often futile to explain its complexity. Not even the feelings itself can fathom its own soul.

We, humans, experience different forms of pain and sometimes, most of the time, people don't understand that we have our own ways of mourning. We don't have to explain ourselves to the world. I think that's one of the few things that death thought me, we pay too much value on things that in the end doesn't really matter.

Your father was a German but the only German word that he taught you was the word for male private part. On the other hand, my father taught me to 'go to the loo' whenever I am at work because it is the only time that I am paid while doing it. They are both cheeky, aren't they? And at some parts of our lives, our relationship to them went beyond the lines to the point that we hated them. We both don't have a perfect father and child story. Well, I wonder who has one. But at the end of the day, or at the end of our fathers' lives rather, we felt that all the issues that we had before does not matter. Our love for them is greater more than any silly things that we thought have greater value. And our fathers loved us back. They loved us even before we learn how to love. They loved us very much, more than what we are actually capable of.

Pete, you asked me how my father is. My father never asked anything from me nor made me feel that I have shortcomings. He would just frequently tell me to love my work and work will love me back. He just wanted me to become stable and have a comfortable life. He didn't wish anything for himself anymore. He was contented. He was happy. So, maybe that's why he left. He wouldn't say goodbye because he knew I won't allow him to. And he knew, it will be hard for him to say NO to me. Although he didn't raise me as a spoiled child, he was the type of father who would say sorry even if it is not really his fault and just because he saw me being upset. He have peculiar ways of comforting me. He's someone who was not shy to say I love you and shower me hugs and kisses. He was loving, very very loving.

I miss you everyday paps.

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Going to a different country gives me some contrasting feelings. I am ecstatic because it has always been a childhood goal to go to foreign countries but at the same time, it breaks my heart to see how far Philippines is left behind.

Changi Airport ranks as world's number one. It is massive, clean and relaxing. Most of its floors are covered with carpet that helps reduce the noise pollution and I think that's why it is not as stressful compared to other airports. Also, I can't help but to notice how spacious their toilets are, you will have no trouble of fitting in your luggage with you while you attend your personal needs. Outside, the purple plants serve as tiara to this airport royalty. I can just go on forever on how beautiful it is.

It is quite weird to read about carpet, toilet and flowers on explaining how you appreciate a country but the author of this blog is quite a bit weird. I like writing and being weird anyway. Below are some random opinions that you may find useful (or maybe not) about Singapore.

Photo below: (1) Inside the Changi Airport Terminal 4 (2) Outside the Airport. It is indeed a garden city.

Transport.

Going around Singapore is quite easy as long as you have an online connection to google map. Maybe I find the transportation easy because I enjoy navigating. Considering the number of times I got lost in Sydney, I wasn't too scared of getting lost anymore. Besides, the vibe of Singapore makes me feel safe and secured. No worries at all. To add, I love the double-decker buses. Its large windows are one of the best ways to see the city. Another highlight that I really adore with Singapore is that there are a lot of buses and train rides, and they arrive in short intervals. Don't get me wrong, I love Sydney, but the public transportation especially Sydney buses could sometimes be very frustrating.

TIP: We used the Singapore Tourist Pass for Unlimited Train and Bus rides. It can help you save some dollars and gives you convenience. I did try riding the taxi for few times because I wanted to go to a certain place in a short span of time. However if you are touring around, it is actually nice to use public transportation so that you would get to know the city more.

Side Story: I have heard a lot that Singaporeans would be too busy to say hello to strangers but there was a time when we were riding a bus, an old man approached us and asked where we were going. He did give us some tips on when is the best time to go there and where else we should go. I find that an interesting encounter because it changes my notion and contradicts of how other people told me about Singaporeans social attitude.

Internet.

You can get a local sim with internet service by first buying it online and then claiming it in the airport when you arrive or you can buy one from the nearest seven eleven shop from your hotel. I was beyond ecstatic to get the 100gb $12 deal. It was valid for 7 days and I can even use it if I fly to Malaysia. Aside from that, the internet is faster than a bullet train. I honestly kid you not.

While I was in Philippines, I was forced to buy 4gb for $15 (Php600) since I had no choice because I need to contact people. Okay, I can live with that. Holiday is physically experiencing the place and not to use phone all the time to scroll social media. But how slowwww the internet speed was slowly killing me.

In Australia, I am used to the $45/14gb/month plan. That, versus Singapore's $48/400gb/month + faster internet. No need to elaborate who wins this round.

Cleanliness.

Here is the part which I am proud of my hometown, Davao, Philippines. My home city may not have as many as beautiful flowers and trimmed trees in Singapore but we are not that far behind when it comes to tidiness. Just a random fact: Do you know that it is prohibited to chew gums in Singapore? You could stay in jail for 2 years if you were caught selling one.

Photo Below: (1) Inside the Flower Dome in Gardens by the Bay (2) Colourful neighborhood in front of our hotel.

Price.

Don't convert or you will get hungry, this is one of the realities in life that is hard for me to accept. Most of the time, the conversion is around: 1 Singaporean dollar = 1 Australian Dollar = 39 Philippine Pesos. When I was at Changi Airport, I thought I was still in Sydney because most of the prices were almost the same but after a few moments of looking around and exploration, I have discovered that there are actually good servings of meals less than $10. Oh well. When you go on holidays, you are spending your disposable money.

Food.

Singapore has a mix of Malay, Chinese, and Indian foods. Before I went to Singapore, a Singaporean friend of mine made a list of foods that I should try. First on the list was the famous rice chicken that everyone talks about. Then there's Carrot cake that is not carrot nor a cake and its color is black. The taste was not as weird as how I describe it. Also, chili crab for those who love sea food. But what surprised me the most is that I enjoyed the Indian Pancake --- I still need to do another research on what is it called.

Since Singapore is quite near to Philippines and there are a number of Filipinos living in the country, I was not shocked to know that they have a “Filipino Mall” also known as the Lucky Plaza. It is where we found the happy bee – Jollibee! I am not really an avid fan of the fast food when I was still living in the Philippines but when I left home, my taste buds have come to realise how Jolly hotdog makes me feel like I am at the comfort of my home.

Photo Below: (1) Chili crab on front. Carrot cake and Singaporean Noodle on left and right, respectively. (2) My so called Indian Pancake. Can you help me figure it out what is it properly called?

Building Structures.

It is overwhelming, modern, futuristic, beautiful architectural designs. Any word that I would use could be understatement. The buildings look beautiful in the photos and it is even way much prettier in person.

Singlish.

Singlish or the Singaporean English. Going around is easy because most of the Singaporeans speak English and they have a particular accent. Being exposed to multiple cultures, makes me more proud and appreciate my first Language, Bisaya. Language is one of those things that defines our identity.

Sidestory: There was this lady in a shop that we always ate our breakfast who speaks strictly Chinese. However, she completely understands us when asked how much is the food and how much is needed to pay in total. Being in food business and as far as her English ability is concern, I guess those phrases are the only ones that are essential.

I have lots more to say but this blog post has been long overdue. I shall spill some more beans next time. Maybe.

Singapore, if you were a person, I think I would marry you.

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Almost a decade ago, my younger self wrote a blog entry about the reasons people should travel for an online competition. At that time, the word “blogger” was very unfamiliar to many and I feel like before, it was more associated of being nerdy since bloggers are writing some random topics on the internet. In Philippines, when you like to write or read books, you are considered nerd (or somewhat a little weird). In a simple way to say, blogger was then not as cool as how it is now.

Reviving this blog by rereading and posting my old articles again has brought me a great turmoil of mixed emotions. It is both embarrassing, amusing and humbling. My post of “Why travel?” 8 years ago was written by my young self who has not yet experienced the reality and rawness of life – her bubble of the ideal world has not yet been popped. She have just passed the national licensure exam at that time, had her first airplane ride and her first holiday away from her family. The main answer of why she thought that people should travel is because it is a way of getting to know and improving one's self. Life was much simpler during that time and sometimes I wish my young self and I have the same answer.

When you wake up at 4:00am and brave the 3-degree freezing cold winter fog, when you have four long straight evening shifts and only have 3 hours of sleep in the morning, when you didn't get the chance to eat your dinner not even just to urinate in the entire 8 hour shift, when you are still giving your best smile even if you are both crying and screaming inside – because you believe that is how professionals should do and you are deeply passionate to your profession, when you feel like you are constantly pushing yourself – but then too burnt out already. Go away, go on a holiday, go to a different environment without those stressors – go, Travel!

People travel for leisure. An escape from their constant reality. To some, they are just genuinely curious. I once met a Cuban girl who said that Cuba is too small and the world is too big – that's why she traveled. There are still some people who diligently do not put value on material things, instead they would invest in experience. Aren't you intrigue about the elegant Sari worn by the Nepalese women and how their dress speaks about their culture? Is there any terrible Irish? Because I have met a couple of them overseas, and they were all nice. How beautiful really is Armenia? because a lot of Armenians would tell me that I would fall in love to their country if I would visit but I can't understand much the details of their stories because they speak to me in their local language not bothered whether I completely understand what they are talking about or not. And I do apologize that I am not that multilingual. I am somewhat only limited to English as my third language.

There are some people who have a secret obsession of flying. Let's blame it to the ID of the human unconscious minds that eagerly wants to be fed over and over by that same feeling of childhood memory. The nostalgia when one was riding at the back of a motor bicycle, spreading the arms wide open and feeling the cold wind gushing through against the skin pores. It is addictive to chase the mixture of pink, blue and purple coloured sunrise and the orange golden dusk – while you are above the sky. It is very different and beautifully overwhelming when you are literally in parallel to the wonders that nature creates. High and above, while surging to the desired altitude, it is always a humbling experience of seeing the buildings and islands getting smaller. When you are about to get drowned from self-pride and delusion of grandeur, always remember that we are tinier than a dot compared to this world that we live in.

Amongst all, people travel because they can. When you go on holiday, you would spend your disposable money but that does not mean you have to be a millionaire to do that. It is much affordable today. Airline companies do give heaps of promotional fare. Lucky you, you can fly from manila to Sydney for $300. And If I could tell something to my younger self, thank you for working hard, as I am now able to buy my plane tickets.

Personally, I want to travel to see my parents as often as I can. At young age, I have learned from my family an important lesson in a very hard way. Walk around in an unfamiliar city while their knees can still catch up. Together, see the world while they still don't need to use eyeglasses. Spend time with them because although we are all getting older and so as our parents.

So, why do people need to travel?

The truth is, there is no need to travel. Some people just want and can. That is why travel happens. So please do yourself a favor, do not feel pressured nor feel sorry for your self that you are not like one of those on your Facebook friend list that goes to different places every weekend. If you can't financially afford it or you don't have the time, that's fine. It doesn't make you less human.

By the way, I ranked Second runner-up from the competition I have joined and supposed to get a 2gb Flask Drive. Until now, I am still waiting for it to get delivered. Read my original Why Travel post thru this link.

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Out of curiosity.

I didn't get her name but she told me her story.

She is a 72 year old lady with an exaggerated curved back that reminded me of Quasimodo from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. She would probably as tall as I am but the age and her years on this earth has made her petite. She was busy clearing and wiping the food court tables, that's why I was hesitant to disturb her for a chat, just to satisfy my query and curiosity. I was shy to approach her but I thought, I don't visit Singapore everyday, and I should seize the moment.

I have asked a lot of people why there are a lot of old workers in Singapore. A lot of them gave me fruitful information but none of them are Singaporeans and non of the are as old as the workers that I saw. I think I know already the answer but something is missing. It does not satisfy my curiosity. It doesn't put the period to the answers of my many Whys. I want to hear it personally from the mouth of an old Singaporean worker.

So, I pretended to help them and chuck the rubbish to their wheeled bin. She smiled at me and said thank you. I wanted to say you're welcome but I just smiled back. Inside of my head her questions running around, pushing myself to open my mouth.

Why do you work so hard, go on for a holiday! I jokingly said.

In Singapore, you work until you can't anymore. She said with a smile.

How about pension? She said it is not enough. She works 6 days a week. Tuesday is her only day off. That's 8 hours a day, and only at 2 pm she will have her lunch.I did ask her if she has children to support her, she has one child but has a family already. What her daughter earns is enough for her own family.

I actually adore her. She is hardworking. You would observe how she works. Some workers are not that keen doing their tasks but she, has an eagle eye to every dirty table.

My feelings are sitting on a fence. Do I need to feel bad at her because she's already old and still working or should I be amazed because she is old but can still live independently. She can work, not relying to anyone but herself, functioning, has a couple of good reasons to wake up and get off from bed in the morning, a good reason to live and something to look forward to.

Maybe I was greatly influenced by the culture in Philippines. That once you become a senior citizen, you retire from your work, receive pension and enjoy the rest of your years ahead. Somewhat placid. Maybe I was not used to see old people work because honestly, we, Filipinos would baby our oldies. Most probably because we have close family ties and looking after them is a way to show love and respect.

I can't say which situation of the older generation is better since people have different cultures, countries and situations. I feel fortunate that I asked the old lady as she allowed me to get to know Singapore deeper and more intimate in a very remarkable way.

Your world should not stop even if you're old.

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I was genuinely petrified inside but I was still able to put on a fake smile.

It was not my first time to travel alone. I had a couple of domestic flights in the Philippines and flying to Sydney by myself and had no issues. No jitters. No worries. No dramas. I often think that there is something wrong with me why I am not scared to travel.

However, this particular flight is exceptional. Thousands of thoughts are running through my head to the point that it affects my gut and I want to throw up. I have no idea why I was feeling this way. It's just a couple of hours fin Malaysia. I am a Philippine passport holder with legit papers - so, there will be no issues with the visa (In case I need to go through the immigration which actually didn't happen). Maybe I was uncomfortable with the situation because I have never tried layover from foreign countries before. Every unfamiliar 'first times' are for me, nerve cracking. So, to boost my esteem and keep myself scattered into pieces, I whispered to myself that after I get over this, I will never get scared of travelling anywhere in the world.

I have safely landed in Kuala Lumpur International Airport and my first mission was to find food. I just randomly select my meal base on the picture as I have no idea what does the name of those food means. I had a descent spicy meal and every food becomes delicious when I am hungry.

My 10 Dollar Meal

So, there's this Aussie man who chuckled while watching me in a hurry of drinking my water. He was originally from Chile and migrated in Melbourne for quite a while. I could tell that he goes to the gym because his trapezius was about to explode. He said that he once had this Filipina girlfriend who was quite expensive to go on a date with because she would take all her family with her. I told him that Yes, we have strong family ties and we love our families to death and No, not all Filipinos would take advantage. A lot of Filipinos work damn hard to achieve every goal that we have in our list.

While I was still at the gate, waiting for the plane's departure, I saw this man who was wearing a mask, coughing loud. I wondered, who will be the unfortunate human creature that will sit beside this man. Less probably me. I hope it wont be me.

Alas! As I happily settled myself inside the airplane, ready to sleep for the whole flight, he sat next to me. Am I being punished because I was talking about this man inside my head earlier? To be honest, his cough wasn't that bad (or maybe I didn't hear anything because I was sleeping like a baby). Hours later, we were already approaching Sydney and my throat became very dry. I wonder If I sleep with my mouth opened. So, I asked the cabin crew if I could buy a bottle of water. They do accept Australian dollars but the change that they will give you is Malaysian Ringgit. At that time, the only notes that I have were 50 dollars. So, I questioned myself what would I do with 48 Ringgit in Australia? Make an effort to find a money exchange shop to sell those Malaysian money into dollars? So, I made a conclusion to swallow my pride and saliva to somehow get hydrated, go back to sleep and I will drink water when the plane lands in Sydney. Here's the catch. the man who sat next to me bought two bottles of water and gave me one. He said that he wants to get rid of his Malaysian Ringgit and we were at the same page, he has no clue what to do with it when he arrives in Australia.

I was stunned. It was one of the most embarrassing moments in my life and the most painful part is that I have no one to talk with for comfort. It was like a slap on a cheek for thinking rudely against this kind soul who did nothing against me. I just want to hide my head inside my jumper. Ohh this beautiful man, forgive me as I thought of bad thinks about you earlier.

After some awkward pause, I built my courage to say "err.. Thank you".

Where to next?

I have safely landed in Sydney and my first thought was that I can't believe that I pulled an emotional frantic drama over a solo layover flight. It was an amazing experience. And I would like to do it more often.

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